Mask My Heart
by Shisenki
Summary: Ciel unintentionally broke his and Elizabeth's engagement which leads to huge changes to both of them. Will they ever find themselves in each other arms again from all the lies, pride and secrets that come between them? :) Please R&R. Drabbles.
1. No More

**A/N:** _Hi, hello! This is Shisenki Elballerina 17 =') First of all, I am** warning** you that this would be short; all of my chapters are... because I am too lazy enough to elaborate and exams are coming... and lastly, please leave any review... Thank you and God Bless you all!XD _

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own_ Kuroshitsuji

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**Chapter 1**

_Useless_

That's what she is.

_She is nobody._

And will stay the same.

Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Middleford

'_Who are you, really_?'

It was a crisp afternoon of autumn that she lied on her bed like a lazy cat. She called herself sick today and wanted no one to come and approach her. Her wishes seemed obeyed but everyone in the household were reluctant and worried about her well-being.

Multiple of white sheets are entangled on her legs. Her baggy night gown that goes down till her knee is now up her thighs. Her messy blonde curls that are being beamed by the rays of the sunset sprawled like golden ribbons on her pillow. Dried wet tears are evident both on her plush cheeks and on the messy mattress.

_Ugly…_

Her eyes opened immediately; another nightmare.

_No _

Another memory she has unintentionally dreamt.

She sat up on her bed rubbing her temples in comfort. She is having a mild dizziness. She slept a long time needed for a girl.

_But_

She doesn't care or she started not to care anymore. Her efforts of becoming and studying to be a refined lady would never bear fruit.

_Enough_

What a sweet word.

She grabbed her calling bell that would alarm Paula to attend her. She pulled the thick rope twice as she wait for her warm water.

She went out of her bed as she approached her sink. She will wait for the steaming wash there. She looked herself at the expensive well-crafted mirror that her beloved father bought for her from France during his tour.

_Ugly… _

'_**You don't suit into anything… you're ugly… that's who and what you are, Lizzie…' **_

She traced her fingers on her shoulder-length yellow locks and cupped her face with her another hand.

_Common… That's what made it ugly…_

_Elizabeth… That's what made it __**uglier**__…_

She didn't notice that continues drops of tears are falling down on her red and sore eyes.

_Why? _

Millions of it was left unanswered. She was released in her own trance when she heard the voice of her maid, Paula. She let her in as she turned around to face her new companion aside the reflection on the mirror.

_Pretty… _

Oh, how she envy the petite and polite maid.

Paula bowed in manner to her young mistress. It has been a while since she let anyone in inside of her quarters. And my, her looks are disheveled in all places. She looked like a girl who was in a carriage accident.

"Good afternoon, Milady. I have brought you what you've asked for." Paula placed the set of a pitch with hot water, bowl and towels on the side of the table near the sink. She then stood away and awaits her mistress orders.

"… Thank you, Paula… you may leave…" there were pauses between her answer yet the maid, even in suspicion, obeyed her and went out of the room. She turned around again and saw herself.

_Die _

What a beautiful solution.

She grabbed the pitch containing the steaming liquid and without a second hesitation splashed herself with it resulting into burning her face. A shrieked echoed all over the household of the Midford's.

Heavy and running footsteps approached and barged inside the room of the young girl. Edward, who first arrived, notice his sister curled into a ball as she cover her face with both of her frail hands.

"Lizzie!"

The Marquis and the Marchioness also appeared and swiftly went to their daughter. Paula was in shocked and in worry but she stood there for she is in no right place. The nosy servants who just wanted a glimpse of news went to check the situation; wondering if they could get a juicy rumor out of it.

"Lizzie looked at me!"

"Darling, what happened?"

"Oh my, Elizabeth, are you alright?"

Desperation is evident as they tried to console the hurting girl and learned what happened from her but she kept on sobbing and hiding her face.

Edward successfully pulled Elizabeth's hands out of her face. And my, it was very red.

"Oh, Lizzie, what happened?" he then embraced her in his arms.

The girl was shaking and crying that she couldn't reply properly but they heard her clearly on these two words that escaped on her lips,

'…_No more…' _


	2. The Decision

**A/N:** _Please pray for our laboratory group in Chemistry that we would be able to pass our project. :) Thank you and God Bless you always!XD_

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own Kuroshitsuji_

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**Chapter 2**

_Whispers_

_Shouts_

_Arguments_

_Fading_

The Marquis Alexis was having the hardest moments of his life. He didn't want to do it but seeing Elizabeth, her beloved and adorable Elizabeth, almost committing a suicide, he must do something. So he and his wife, Marchioness Frances came up with a decision that broke everyone's heart.

"Must we do it?" He looked around and found an uneasy Frances who is usually the one who is in conviction with everything.

"Honey, I am also afraid of her well-being but we _must_. And you _know_ it." He then hugged her wife and thank the Heavens that Frances isn't pushing him to the ground and yell ridiculous things, all flustered because of a short display of affection.

"_**I won't consent**_."

They were startled and looked around for the owner of the voice. What surprised them is it was their eldest son, Edward, who is leaning on the door with his arms crossed and an angry expression marked on his handsome face.

"I won't allow you to send my sister away!" Edward rushed towards to his parents. "Why send her away?! And to all of places you just chose _that place_!" He was thrashing his hand in the air. He was so angry at his parents and mostly to himself.

"She will go crazy there! You don't _really _care for her, do you?"

"Father, this is Elizabeth! _Don't make her go_. Don't let her!"

"Mother, come on! I know and so everybody that you're cold but _bloody hell_! I know you're no mad to send her _there_!"

He was so desperate in convincing his parents to not ship Elizabeth to another place. His sister, the most beloved jewel he had, is leaving to go to a faraway place.

"Moth—"

_**Slap**_

He was shocked. He holds his red cheek and look at his mother. Frances was _trembling_; trembling in anger, frustration and sorrow.

"Do you think that we _wanted_ it?!" Frances was now _crying_.

Edward turned his head, ashamed of what he done. The decision hurt everyone but it hurt his mother more than anyone who thinks of.

"_**Let us all calm down." **_

His father's words soothed the tension inside the room.

"I think I need to cool myself." Edward left the other two alone. He needed time to accept that his sister will be leaving for good.

As their son left, Frances felt weak and so collapse on the floor. "Frances!" Alexis scooped Frances into his arms. "Oh Frances, it's for the _best_… It's for the _greater good_ of our dearest Elizabeth." He whispered into her ears as he carried her to their bedroom and called unto the family doctor.


	3. Insecurities Rising

_**Chapter 3**_

_Time_

What time is it?

It seems like it was just yesterday that she found herself on the ground _lifeless_.

_Sigh_

'…_I'm tired…'_

Elizabeth rolled to her left side and come face to face with her bedside table. A lamp was at the top of it and a match at the lamp's side, if ever in the middle of the night she would go up and look for what she need.

_Ugly_

It's still fresh and continually repeating inside her head. She shut her eyes chanting the same defend.

'…_I am not…'_

She stood up from her enormous bed and looked around inside her room. There are so many expensive and cute and adorable things that are displayed inside her room.

She went to her big dresser which was carved by a famous craft man in Italy. She trailed her fingers at every design of Victorian art and roses on the polish mahogany wood.

_Beautiful _

She then looked herself in the mirror that goes with her dresser. How beautifully it was made and carved _unlike her…_

She then turned away from her reflection.

…_Truth hurts…_

She then approached the small couch that goes with the color of her room. It has the color of maroon that has gold as its metals. She then lied herself on it and made herself feel comfortable.

'_..Does not suit you…'_

Her smile turns to frown. She then, stood up and went back to her bedside table. Elizabeth took the match and stare at it intently.

'…_Nothing… and never will…' _

She opened it and get one long matchstick and begun lighting it up. There was a spark and soon a fire was up. She then stared at it.

_Burn_

She then looked for something to burn. Then she found the huge adorable teddy bear that Edward bought for her three years ago.

…_Burn it all…_

She approached the cute stuff toy and lit it up to fire.

_Fire_

_Burn_

_Be gone_

_Nothing_

Everything inside the room of Elizabeth Midford is on ashes and fire. Everything is burning and flaming. But she was just in the middle of the puddle of flames holding a sharp scissors and singing nursery rhymes.

…_**A you're adorable**_

_**B you're so beautiful**_

_**C you're so cute and full of charm**_

_**D you're a darling…**_

She then began snipping her shoulder –length hair while humming the song.

…_**H you're so heavenly**_

_**I you're the one I idolize…**_

Lizzie started crying without realizing as she keeps on cutting her blonde hair. Edward was at the garden to cool himself off that he notices the smoke coming out from his sister's windows. His eyes widens as he saw big fire roaring out of it. And he, without knowing what to do, run like a mad dog towards Elizabeth's room.

As he grabbed the door knob, it was burning hot, that he let go of it. The servants who noticed his mad dash came running towards him.

"Get me a wet towel immediately!" he barked at on one maid who flinched at the sudden command. Edward then began kicking the door and finally the door broke open.

He searched for his sister as he covers his nose with his left arm.

"Lizzie!"

It was warm and still no sign of the little girl.

"Young master!" The servants tried to get in but were scared of the danger. He shouted at them for help, "Help me find Lizzie!" Good thing that the men went with him.

_Cough, cough_

He looked for the owner of the sound and alas he found Lizzie who is lying on the ground. What shocked him the most was her hair is cut short.

"Lizzie!" He then grabbed her in his embraced and carries her out. "I found her!" Edward announced and so the other men who came in fled the place.

"_**My, what happened?!" **_ Edward now securely wrapped his sister in a wet towel when he saw both of his parents rushing towards them. The servants are now helping each other carrying pales of water to lit out the fire.

"Mother, Father." He acknowledged them. Frances knelt down and hugged her daughter. "Oh, Elizabeth, are you okay? Speak to me, my child!" Frances frantically searched for any wound at Elizabeth.

_Cough, cough_

Frances sighed in relief. She hugged her daughter again and exclaimed in joy, "Oh thank you, Almighty Lord!"

Elizabeth's eyes fluttered and saw no flames around her. She then recognized the person who is hugging her, "Mother?"

"Elizabeth, are you okay? You're not in pain? What happened, my dear?" Alexis was now asking many question to her daughter. He was so worried to death.

Elizabeth didn't answer her father's questions but she muttered words before slipping into exhaustion.

"…_**Why am I not yet dead?..."**_

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**A/N:** _Words of advise for today from yours truly;_ **STAY**** STRONG**_. I hope this few words will help you throughout your day because this helped me a lot. Thank you and God Bless you all!XD P.S. I don't know if the mentioned nursery rhyme existed in their time so, I hope you miht let this slip. :P_

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own Kuroshitsuji_


	4. What's The Unknown

**A/N:**_ I heart Edward. His my new eye-candy big brother! Thank you and God Bless you all!_

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own Kuroshitsuji_

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_**Chapter 4**_

"Edward it's for the _best_…"

The young lad kept on pacing back and forth as he thought deeply about the situation. He is now with his parents discussing the matter of Elizabeth's well-being. Apparently, the little girl in question is now sleeping inside the guest room with Paula and the family doctor, in case of emergency.

"I know but… have _you _seen it, Father?" He stopped moping around and faced his father who is consoling his stressed mother.

"…_yes_…" There was a hesitation and it was hurting Alexis to admit it but he saw how lifeless and how longing his daughter for death.

_Silence_

"…Will… will she be alright to _that place_ you are sending her away?" Edward asked again.

"Don't worry, the prince's son is handling _the land_ and I know he is _a good friend of yours_…" Alexis smile was bitter yet assuring.

"… But… at a time like this… this isn't the time to show the _unknown stories of the world _to her!" Edward exasperatedly said.

"… yes, but I believe that she will _find_ herself there or better yet… will come to _discover_ who she really is…" Alexis wrapped a blanket around him and the sleeping Marchioness.

Edward bit his lower lip.

"…_**It's for the best…"**_

"I will make sure that when she is there, she is properly taken care of." Edward left to write a letter to the prince's son and best friend.

Alexis chuckled at his son's antics.

_Typical sister-complex_

Then, a knock came from the door. He told the person to come in.

"Master, the press is here for the accident that had happened. " It was their family butler who comes to inform.

He sighed; must keep the whole empire out of their business.

"Tell them, I will come shortly and inform the whole household that nothing will escape from their mouths about what had happened earlier or _**you know what**_." He then ordered the lanky butler who nodded and went away.

"It's decided, my dear, we're letting her see the _reality_ of the world." He whispered into his sleeping wife's ear.


	5. What Will Fit

**A/N: **_There are definitely grammatical errors and I hope that you won't mind it. Thank you and God Bless you always!_

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own Kuroshitsuji_

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_**Chapter 5**_

"Darling, what _monstrosity_ happened to your hair?!" The tailor screeched in horror. Elizabeth went to Nina Hopkins for dresses with Paula in tow.

"I cut it but it seems I've done it wrong." She sheepishly replied. There's no way she would tell anyone about _what happened really_. No one knew except who are in the house of Midford's.

"Absolutely! Here, sit here. I will try and _save_ your hair that could match your beauty!" Nina patted a chair for Elizabeth to sit. The girl was about to decline because her only purpose was to get some dress but if it was Nina Hopkins they were speaking then escape is not an _option_.

Then, the magic of Nina's hands and two pair of scissors did a wonderful job. Her uneven cuts are obviously disappeared but resulting into shorter hair.

_A boy's cut_

"Oh, you look very cute, milady!" Paula clasped both of her hands as she praised her mistress.

_No… I am not…_

Elizabeth smiled out of courtesy. "Thank you, Paula and thank you too, Miss Nina."

"No need to thank me, darling. It's my job to make and bring the beauty out of the people!" Nina proudly said as she went and hide the scissors.

Elizabeth smiled. Yes, it was Nina who is making her pretty. She is no natural-born beautiful lady.

"Well, I come here for my dress, Miss Nina. I hope that you remember that the day after tomorrow would be my departure to Americas." Lizzie hoped that the young and successful tailor would come and see her leave.

"Oh, darling, why?" Nina embraced the little girl. She will miss this little lass.

"Oh, I am going there to study to be a refine lady." Actually she had no clue but her father said that it was some important matter and she will come to know when she gets there.

"I will wish you the best and may I see you as you leave England?" Then, Nina asked for permission to see the young lady go and depart.

"Of course!" Elizabeth happily said.

"And dresses! Bah, the _trend _today is that women are wearing _men's clothes_! You are not receiving dresses, darling! I don't want you to be left out, so here, the latest outfits for your sweet stay at Americas!" Nina shoved many boys' wear to Elizabeth's and Paula's arms.

"But…!" Elizabeth was about to complain when Nina shushed her.

"_**No buts!"**_ Nina giggled like a school girl as she hummed a song.

_Sigh_

She has no choice. Even she wore cute dresses filled in ruffles; she would just look the same.

_Ugly_

"Well, thank you, Miss Nina_. I trust your taste to fashion_." She then left the shop as the energetic Nina waved at them goodbye.

"Milady, are you sure about these clothing." Paula worriedly asked the little mistress who is now walking towards the waiting carriage.

"I don't care, Paula. I have faith in Nina that she _would not let me down_ in terms of fashion." Elizabeth grinned knowingly and this relaxed the maid. Paula knows that her mistress has good sense of judgment with people.


	6. Relation To Fire

**A/N:** _I heart Ciel and Sebastian but I am not a fan to CielXSebastian pairing but I am okay with it. Thank you and God Bless you always!_

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own Kuroshitsuji_

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_**Chapter 6**_

"Finny, Finny, look!" Maylene shoved the newspaper harshly to the young teenage boy. It was just an early bright morning and Maylene is on panic already.

"What is it, Maylene?" Finny then open the newspaper wide enough for him to see it clearly the headline news.

_**Fire Accident at Midford's Estate**_

"Oh Finny, you will not believe it but the accident happened at Lady Elizabeth's room! Oh how awful!" Maylene exclaimed in sadness. She was close to the little bubbly girl. Finny seriously read the article as Bard came out of the kitchen, smoke on his mouth.

"What's the fuss?" He asked. "Oh, Bard! Mistress Elizabeth's room went on fire!" Maylene informed the man.

"What?!" He was shocked. He just saw her a week ago visiting the young earl and they ended up fighting which was a bit odd. "How was she? Is she well?" He asked Maylene.

"The news said that her hair was burnt and so is now short but there are no wounds. She is safe that is said." Maylene said though quite unsure.

"Well, I was wondering who took the morning newspaper." An eerie voice startled them. It was Sebastian, wearing an eerie smile.

"Good morning, everyone, may I take the newspaper to the master?" He gesture an open palm to receive the paper. Finny handed it to him out of fear.

"Thank you." He shortly said and left the other three.

"Well, isn't he mysterious?" Bard commented as he whistled in amazement.

"That's what makes him dreamy…" Maylene sighed in adoration.

"…I'm confused…" there attention was now to Finny.

"Why is it, Finny?" Maylene asked as she adjusted her glasses.

"Isn't the Midford's place are one with the _highest security_ all over the empire aside from the Queen's palace? I wonder how the culprit managed to lit a fire inside Mistress Lizzie's room when everything inside the house is rather _strict _and highly in _suspicious to strangers_." Finny mused and also made the other two.

_How come?_

"Well, never mind." And with that they went and did their daily tasks inside the Phantomhive Manor.

_Papers_

_Work_

_New mission_

_Papers_

_Never ending…_

No thirteen year-old could handle so much stress and burden like this but Ciel could cause he _has _to. He rubbed his temples in frustration.

_"Young_ Master would you like a cup of tea, its Darjeeling today." Snake, who was beside Ciel, offered the young boy a drink. "That would be nice." He consent the butler to do so.

Sebastian came in holding the newspaper that he ordered him to get a while ago. "What took you so long?" Ciel rudely asked.

Sebastian just smiled and handed him the newspaper. "It seems that the servants took the newspaper first before you." Sebastian said.

"And why is that?" he then asked the butler who wears a playful smile. "See for yourself, young master." He motioned the boy to look.

_**Fire Accident at Midford's Estate**_

_Thump_

Ciel brushed away the bad feeling bad he knows that Sebastian knows what he is thinking.

_**The Fire Accident with his parents**_

"So?" He sarcastically asked, "It may have been a stable or the kitchen on fire." Ciel said as he then sipped his tea.

Sebastian still in wore his playful smile as he informed the young earl, "No, young master, the incident happened inside the household… _at Lady Elizabeth's room_…"

_Crash_

"…_**what?!..."**_ it was above whisper.

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**P.S.:** _Next update would be the end of December... I guess :P Happy Holidays!XD_


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